“After the master of the house has arisen and locked the door, then will you stand outside knocking and saying, ‘Lord, open the door for us.’ He will say to you in reply, ‘I do not know where you are from.’”

Observing people while avoiding judgment can be a valuable lesson in growing one’s own virtues. On a recent business trip, I noted how fewer people seem to embrace a heart like Jesus. Yes, I know how dangerously close that statement is to judging, especially when only God knows the hearts of men, but what dwells within should be evident in our behavior. Again, I am speaking to myself!

One particularly upsetting moment took place on the flight home. Sitting across the aisle—a young mother with a toddler on her lap. In front of them, a middle-aged gentleman fixated on his phone. The child slept for the first half of the flight and awoke with renewed energy. Facing his mother, his back on the man’s seat, I am sure the older passenger was jolted by his seat being pushed forward more than a few times. We seem to forget another human is on the other side of the headrest. This inconsideration, however, could never justify his seemingly retaliatory behavior of flinging his seat back into a reclined position, striking the child in the head with the rigid plastic media holder. Angry words were exchanged, as you can imagine, and my heart sank for the loss of common courtesy and the ability to communicate with kindness. In short, to be Jesus in the world, I must walk daily through that narrow door of Christian living and love.

Our lower nature battles too often against our desire to do good, fueled by a society that says you deserve to be first and get everything you want; don’t be pushed around. Jesus, the epitome of meekness and humility, calls us to embrace this more difficult path because it comes with the greatest reward. Many will strive to enter, but not all will be strong enough, especially if they rely on themselves and do not lean on the grace of God!  The bottom line is that God never asks for the impossible.

As I sat waiting to disembark the plane, the boy’s father stood in the aisle, with his coat repeatedly hitting me. I politely pointed out what I knew he was unaware was happening. He apologized, the behavior ceased, and we left the plane content. Would I have taken this gentle approach had I not witnessed the earlier exchange? I’d like to say yes, but I know myself better than that. Pray, as you observe any situation that upsets you, for every heart involved to be softened, molded to Christ’s, especially your own.

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“Cuando el dueño de la casa se levante de la mesa y cierre la puerta, ustedes se quedarán afuera y se pondrán a tocar la puerta, diciendo: ‘Señor, ábrenos’. Pero él les responderá: ‘No sé quiénes son ustedes’.”

The first reading at Mass today discusses the role of men and women in a Christian marriage.  So beautiful! So demanding (in a good way)!

A few of the words used by St. Paul to the Ephesians in this passage can easily cause a negative knee-jerk reaction. There are people who, in our sound-bite culture, won’t pause to consider the true substance of this passage. Whenever we are caught off guard by a Scripture passage, it is important to humble ourselves and take the time to explore what is actually being said. We should take these passages to prayer and reflect on what the Church says about them.

When it comes to Christian marriage, I find it helpful to think of man as the head of the home and woman as the heart— an image explored by Pope Pius XI in his encyclical Casti Connubii (On Christian Marriage). The husband is the “head” as he imitates Christ, loving his bride radically and pouring out his life in service of her as he leads the family. The wife offers her wisdom and unique gifts to unite the family in love. Practical duties of the spouses may overlap, and there is constant cooperation. “Subordinate to one another,” husbands and wives work together peaceably and effectively in their vital mission.

This is the ideal marriage. But the ideal is never easy to attain (especially when marriage involves two imperfect human beings, one of whom may be less invested than the other). The Catechism reminds us that, while God made men and women for each other, since sin entered the world, their “union has always been threatened by discord, a spirit of domination, infidelity, jealousy, and conflicts” (CCC 1606).

What to do? Our world’s answer to the ongoing conflicts between the sexes has only weakened and wounded individuals and families. The Christian ideal, being difficult to attain, has been trampled on and discarded.

There is an answer though. The only way to create and maintain harmony between men and women is to follow Jesus Christ. He gives us the strength and grace to have holy marriages through the power of His Cross. The world doesn’t have solutions to our (very real) problems because society tries to solve those problems without Jesus, without His Holy Spirit, and without His Church. 

Though no marriage is perfect, real Christian marriage is the stuff of true-life fairytales, with spouses outdoing each other in service and generosity. No two Godly marriages are alike, but they all have common components: they strive for the ideal and trust in Jesus. 

Climactically, the power of such radical communion between two people in marriage is meant to be a witness to Christ’s love for us. He wants to wed us. He wants us to live “happily ever after” with Him. People are supposed to look at Catholic marriages and say, “Aha, I see what free, total, faithful, and fruitful love looks like! I understand what Christ wants to give me and what He wants in return. And it is terrifyingly beautiful.” 

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La primera lectura de la Misa de hoy habla del papel del hombre y la mujer en el matrimonio cristiano. ¡Qué hermoso! ¡Qué exigente (en un sentido positivo)!

Algunas de las palabras que utiliza San Pablo a los Efesios en este pasaje pueden fácilmente causar una reacción negativa. Hay personas que, en nuestra cultura de frases hechas, no se detienen a considerar la verdadera esencia de este pasaje. Siempre que nos sorprenda un pasaje de las Escrituras, es importante humillarnos y tomarnos el tiempo para explorar lo que realmente está diciendo. Deberíamos llevar estos pasajes a la oración y reflexionar sobre lo que la Iglesia dice sobre ellos.

Cuando se trata del matrimonio cristiano, me resulta útil pensar en el hombre como la cabeza del hogar y la mujer como el corazón, una imagen explorada por el Papa Pío XI en su encíclica Casti Connubii (Sobre el matrimonio cristiano). El marido es la “cabeza” ya que imita a Cristo, amando a su esposa radicalmente y derramando su vida al servicio de ella mientras dirige la familia. La esposa ofrece su sabiduría y sus dones únicos para unir a la familia en el amor. Los deberes prácticos de los cónyuges son compartidos y hay una cooperación constante. “Respétense unos a otros”, los esposos y las esposas trabajan juntos pacíficamente y eficazmente en su misión vital.

Este es el matrimonio ideal. Pero el ideal nunca es fácil de alcanzar (especialmente cuando el matrimonio involucra a dos seres humanos imperfectos, uno de los cuales puede estar menos comprometido que el otro). El Catecismo nos recuerda que, si bien Dios creó al hombre y a la mujer el uno para el otro, desde que el pecado entró en el mundo, “En todo tiempo, la unión del hombre y la mujer vive amenazada por la discordia, el espíritu de dominio, la infidelidad, los celos y conflictos que pueden conducir hasta el odio y la ruptura” (CIC 1606).

¿Qué debemos hacer? La respuesta de nuestro mundo a los conflictos continuos entre los sexos sólo ha debilitado y herido a los individuos y a las familias. El ideal cristiano, al ser difícil de alcanzar, ha sido pisoteado y descartado.

Sin embargo, hay una respuesta. La única manera de crear y mantener la armonía entre hombres y mujeres es seguir a Jesucristo. Él nos da la fuerza y ​​la gracia para tener matrimonios santos a través del poder de Su Cruz. El mundo no tiene soluciones para nuestros (muy reales) problemas porque la sociedad intenta resolverlos sin Jesús, sin su Espíritu Santo y sin su Iglesia.

Aunque ningún matrimonio es perfecto, el matrimonio cristiano real es como un cuento de hadas en la vida real, donde los cónyuges se superan mutuamente en servicio y generosidad. No hay dos matrimonios piadosos iguales, pero todos tienen componentes comunes: luchan por el ideal y confían en Jesús.

En última instancia, el poder de esa comunión radical entre dos personas en el matrimonio tiene como objetivo dar testimonio del amor de Cristo por nosotros. Él quiere casarse con nosotros. Quiere que vivamos “felices para siempre” con Él. Se supone que la gente debe mirar los matrimonios católicos y decir: “¡Ah, veo cómo es el amor libre, total, fiel y fructífero! Entiendo lo que Cristo quiere darme y lo que quiere a cambio. Y es terriblemente hermoso”.

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Today’s first reading reminds me of Dear Evan Hansen, one of my favorite musicals. Although I have never seen it live, I absolutely love the music. Some of my favorite lyrics are, “Have you ever felt like nobody was there? Have you ever felt forgotten in the middle of nowhere? Have you ever felt like you could disappear? Like you could fall, and no one would hear? Well, let that lonely feeling wash away. Maybe there’s a reason to believe you’ll be okay. ‘Cause when you don’t feel strong enough to stand, you can reach, reach out your hand.”

This song reminds me of that picture of Jesus reaching his hand into the water to grab Peter  and prevent him from sinking. We all have the desire to feel seen and heard. We want to be part of something bigger than ourselves. These desires though, which are common among every culture, seem to present a problem. The problem is that oftentimes we try to do it all on our own and realize our weakness very quickly. Peter, who in today’s Gospel was chosen by Jesus as one of the Twelve apostles, wanted to be seen and heard. He wanted to be a part of something much bigger than himself and when he trusted Jesus he was able to do just that.

When we try to do supernatural things by our own power it does not go well, but when we trust in Jesus, as the first reading states, we become “members of the household of God”. When that happens, we can do things that we never thought would be possible. Take the concept of seeing for example. Do we really ever actually see someone? We can see their body, what they do for work, how they dress, or what kind of car they drive. But do we ever actually see their personhood? God is the one who can see us just as we are. He sees everything about us and loves us through it. If that is how we want to be seen and how we should be viewing others, then we need grace. 

Let’s ask for the grace today and always to see others as God sees them. Let’s ask for the power necessary to fulfill the specific vocation that God has planned for us. Let’s ask for the power to truly love those we come into contact with that society has cast out. The more we ask for this grace, the more we become members of the family of God and the more we truly see. If this sounds frightening, our assures us that “Christ Jesus himself is the capstone. Through him the whole structure is held together.”  And may I remind you of the words I quoted in the beginning, “When you don’t feel strong enough to stand, you can reach, reach out your hand.”

From all of us here at Diocesan, God bless!

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La primera lectura de hoy me recuerda de Dear Evan Hansen (Querido Evan Hansen), uno de mis musicales favoritos. Aunque nunca lo he visto en vivo, me encanta la música. Algunas de mis letras favoritas son: “¿Alguna vez has sentido que no había nadie allí? ¿Alguna vez te has sentido olvidado en medio de la nada? ¿Alguna vez has sentido que podrías desaparecer? ¿Como si pudieras caer y nadie te escuchara? Bueno, deja que ese sentimiento de soledad se vaya. Tal vez haya una razón para creer que estarás bien. Porque cuando no te sientes lo suficientemente fuerte para mantenerte en pie, puedes extender tu mano”.

Esta canción me recuerda de la imagen de Jesús metiendo su mano en el agua para agarrar a Pedro y evitar que se hundiera. Todos tenemos el deseo de sentirnos vistos y escuchados. Queremos ser parte de algo más grande que nosotros mismos. Sin embargo, estos deseos, que son comunes en todas las culturas, parecen presentar un problema. El problema es que muchas veces tratamos de hacerlo todo por nuestra cuenta y nos damos cuenta de nuestra debilidad muy rápidamente. Pedro, que en el Evangelio de hoy fue elegido por Jesús como uno de los doce apóstoles, quería ser visto y escuchado. Quería ser parte de algo mucho más grande que él mismo y cuando confió en Jesús pudo hacer precisamente eso.

Cuando intentamos hacer cosas sobrenaturales por nuestro propio poder no nos va bien, pero cuando confiamos en Jesús, como dice la primera lectura, nos convertimos en miembros de “la familia de Dios”. Cuando eso sucede, podemos hacer cosas que nunca pensamos que serían posibles. Tomemos como ejemplo el concepto de ver. ¿Realmente vemos a alguien? Podemos ver su cuerpo, lo que hace para trabajar, cómo se viste o qué tipo de vehículo maneja. Pero ¿vemos alguna vez su personalidad? Dios es quien puede vernos tal como somos. Ve todo acerca de nosotros y nos ama a través de eso. Si así es como queremos ser vistos y cómo deberíamos ver a los demás, entonces necesitamos la gracia.

Pidamos la gracia hoy y siempre de ver a los demás como Dios los ve. Pidamos el poder necesario para cumplir la vocación específica que Dios ha planeado para nosotros. Pidamos el poder de amar verdaderamente a aquellos con quienes entramos en contacto y que la sociedad ha expulsado. Cuanto más pidamos esta gracia, más nos convertiremos en miembros de la familia de Dios y más veremos verdaderamente. Si esto suena aterrador, la primera lectura nos asegura que “Cristo Jesús [es] la piedra angular. Sobre Cristo, todo el edificio se va levantando bien estructurado”. Y permítanme recordarles las palabras que cité al principio: “Cuando no te sientas lo suficientemente fuerte para mantenerte en pie, puedes extender tu mano”.

De parte de todos nosotros aquí en Diocesan, ¡Dios los bendiga!

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